His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
