you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sext me about skeletons
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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