your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
