Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
