I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
