I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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