Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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