you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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