If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
