It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love you.
Bad choice
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize