And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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