There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
