Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
