i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My life is pants optional.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
