He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
