let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
