dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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