Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
