I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When did angry sex become our thing?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
