I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
