What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what day is it and did you see me today?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
