You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
