Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
