I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
