We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
