The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
