How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
