Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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