My hand turned me down
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
