Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize