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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
