If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
