Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
