i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
