I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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