do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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