do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
