dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
