be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
