I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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