my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
