Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
