I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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