Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
