pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
