She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
