super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
