grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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