Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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