You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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