You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
