In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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