pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it because I queefed?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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