i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
