you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
