What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
