I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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