i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
