Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
