Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
