If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
