This is not my ceiling
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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