This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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