Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
