I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
